Thursday, May 7, 2009

Noooooo!

Manny Ramirez suspended 50 games for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs

I'm shocked. I'm honestly numb. I'm dumbfounded. Everything was going right for the Dodgers. They have the best record in baseball. Last night, the broke the record for longest home winning streak to start a season, a record set in 1911. And now Manny's suspended for 50 games.
I have a lot of different thoughts about it. To begin, I'm conflicted because I really like Manny and feel like I will totally embrace him upon his return on July 3. But then I remember how much I made fun of Giants fans for embracing Barry Bonds during his whole steroid scandal. Do I really want to be like a Giants fan? But then I think about all the differences between this case and Barry's: Barry went out of his way to take steroids and evade detection whereas Manny's positive test supposedly comes from prescribed medication he was taking for "personal health reasons" (of course, those personal health reasons could be that he couldn't keep up the pace anymore and needed some extra oomph; I mean, he is an aging slugger who hasn't yet really seen a decline in his production, which is the stereotype of the steroid user). Plus, Barry denied and denied and denied in spite of mounting evidence, whereas Manny has come out with a plausible excuse, accepted responsibility, and decided not to appeal the suspension. If Manny's story is right, he didn't even take steroids and it's a case very similar to J.C. Romero who bought a supplement at GNC that contained a banned substance that the supplement did not include on the label. In other words, Manny wouldn't be guilty of cheating, but guilty of idiocy for not making sure the medication wasn't banned, and nobody's ever accused Manny of thinking things all the way through. Furthermore, there's never been any suspicion of Manny using PEDs.
So, I guess in the final analysis, and barring further revelations, I don't believe Manny's a cheater. I think he's dumb for not checking his medication against MLB's banned substance list, but I don't think he did anything to purposely attempt to improve his game through illicit means. It sure screws up the Dodgers' lineup though. I guess Ethier will move up to third, but who's going to hit clean-up? Loney doesn't even have a home run yet, and Martin is still struggling. Kemp strikes out too much. At least they're in a weak division and they will probably be able to stay in the mix until Manny gets back.
This just in: early indications are that the medication Manny was taking was a sex enhancer. I suppose I would say "personal health reasons" in my statement too.
Further revelation: it appears now that Manny tested positive for a female fertility drug (hCG) that steroid users often take when coming off of a steroid cycle in order to re-start natural testosterone production. Bummer. Maybe he really is a cheater.

1 comment:

April Celeste Garff said...

HCG is the hormone that makes a pregnancy test turn positive. Maybe he is pregnant?